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Shop Merch

$70.00
The perfect action accessory. Blocks wind. Zips up and down. Has pockets Looks great.
$70.00 $90.00 22% Off
Giordana Vera Forma. Longer aero sleeves like the kids want. Snug fit. Pretty great. "Model" is 6' 175 pounds and wearing a Medium. Whether he should or not.
$50.00 $75.00 33% Off
Giordana Vera Pro. Shorter sleeves than the race cut with a little more room in the trunk for junk. "Model" is 6', 175lbs and is wearing a medium. Whether he should or not."
$40.00
Hey! You're an adult! Or maybe a teen! Or maybe a 50 year old holding on as hard as you can! Whatever you are, these svelte and soft sweatshirts will swaddle your skin and soul. Skal!
$40.00
Soft and warm, like a hug from someone you want to hug you. Not someone you don't.
$25.00
Nothing is cooler than a five panel hat. Except you, Coolio.
$20.00
Just like regular shirts, but with more arm! Replace all parts with long-arm! ("model" is 6' 170lbs and is currently wearing a medium)
$20.00
Really very soft. Shorter sleeves than the Unisex T's and with a little more shape.
$20.00
A delight of a T-Shirt that's soft enough to be a pleasure, but doesn't stick to you like a kleenex. You know? A mix of American Apparell, Next Level, and Bella Canvas T's. Locally printed.
$16.00 - $19.00
Perfect for the entire miserable, terrible year! Defeet Wooleater (Size M-XL) Defeet Aireator (Size S)
$10.00 - $13.00
Sure, you have a lot of water bottles. But do they have a bunny on them? Ok, then.
$1.00
Tell everyone you know about the shop that isn't a cult! No one knows anything about anything! We are hurtling toward oblivion!
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